THE ECONOMIC SCARCITY OF THE ESKIMO HAIKU or HOW I STARTED MY SUNDAY or IS THAT FOLGER'S IN YOUR CUP?

Eskimo [Rubberneck ruminates on the following declassified missive from the resident Mongollian]

i've never not made wood on too much tequila...never tried prozac. shaving the taint is easy solo...it's all about squattin' and stretchin' it...i leave you w/ that thought of me for the weekend...mmmmm hairless taint squat

[Taking a sip from his freshly stirred cup of Folgers, he unleashes what historically may go down as the first ever Eskimo-focused haiku]

Skmomo imagery,
The best part of wakin' up:
"mmmmm hairless taint squat."

[ED. NOTE: The interns are still verifying the "first ever" part]

April 30, 2006 in Haiku | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

THE LATEST TRILOGY

Where's dat wascaly wabbit?

THE OTHER JEW SPEAKS:

Damm! I shot my bitch.
Then made him apologize
Good to be the king!

LOVE'S RETORT:

veep's bloodthirst ... dick's hard
just killing for killing's sake
trophy wife is next

TITAN SLIDES HOME:

Undisclosed locale
Quailtard lawyer in season
Nigger hunt next time

February 23, 2006 in Haiku | Permalink | Comments (10) | TrackBack

HUMP DAY INTROSPECTION

TEZ PROCLAIMS:

Big Zeus Floppy-Cock
Sweet nectar flowers blossom
Neohetero

February 22, 2006 in Haiku | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBack

THE LATEST TRILOGY

Five-O

RUBBERNECK SPEAKS:

Please file these under "Gramps: Living the Dream of the Hippy/Destructor from COCK MARCH I" at your leisure:

Pineapple-fistin':
He Pokes In The Coconuts...
Sweet Poi Hoi Polloi.

Brownbooty Baggin,
Loamy Soil, meet Irish Rake --
My Kinda Porno.

O, Dr. Moreau!
Feared and Loved by the locals:
Big Papi Honkee.

August 16, 2005 in Haiku | Permalink | Comments (34) | TrackBack

THE LATEST TRILOGY

M2K5


There Goes the Neighborhood

TEZ SPEAKS:

e. coli tounge bath
blow it out your skmo-hole
eskimo kisses

RUBBERNECK'S RETORT:

Spelunk the Mongol.
Rectal ridges scoured clean,
M2K5-style.

GRAMPA SLIDES HOME:

Little furry hat
battle axe ass insertion
seven meat chili

August 9, 2005 in Haiku | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

THE LATEST TRILOGY

Where's the Cock?

RUBBERNECK SPEAKS:

Tommy Building Steam,
Forecasting Chrome and Plastic.
Dubya looks, winces.

WOOK'S RETORT:

Bush's pockets deep
Crammed with plenty of plunder
Little room for cock

RUBBERNECK SLIDES HOME:

Bush the dick-pocket?
Tommy burrows his own space:
Majority Whip.

December 9, 2004 in Haiku | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack

WHAT DEANER WAS TALKING ABOUT

Howard Dean

WOOKIEE DA GIMP SPEAKS:

Dems have one more chance
To accept Dean’s pearl necklace
If not, bumblefuck!

December 9, 2004 in Haiku | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack

HAIKU ROOTS

TeZ

TEZ SPEAKS:

glow worm fantasy
sack religious nip-kike dance
mushroom salad toss

November 24, 2004 in Haiku | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

NEVER TO LATE TO REFLECT ON RONNIE

TYLER DURDEN SPEAKS:

killer of steel mills
Star Wars missile defense god
Alzhiemer's cowboy

November 23, 2004 in Haiku | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

SECRETARY OF THE BUTTON-FLY

For us, post-assfuck
The chimp gloats victorious
Why bother zipping?

November 23, 2004 in Haiku | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack