LATE LATE-BREAKING NEWS!

Maple Syrup or Blueberry Sauce?

TEZ SPEAKS:

This furthers my assertion that humankind is no smarter than we were a thousand years ago, and I'm certain this zero slope will continue.

If Henderson and Paine were able to write so rationally but we still have people seeing images in their breakfast - who've never even heard of these authors, in this AGE OF INFORMATION - we are likely to continue electing W's, consuming fossil fuels, going to church, eating at McDonalds and irresponsibly prescribing antibiotics.

Hence the role of intoxicants.

December 18, 2005 in Religion | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

THEY'RE CALLED FLASHCARDS, YOU MISERABLE BASTID!

[Rubberneck the Spacepimp races towards the podium, frothing, trumpeting another successful foray into Christ for those who know his tics]

"Oh worthies, this is not only a glimpse into the world of what it takes to be a Biblethumpin' Olympian, it's also a revelation of the true power of fucking flash cards. Holmes has built a Jesusflogger of an empire on a shoebox full of index cards."

[As if on cue, the Wook passes his squeege]

October 30, 2005 in Religion | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

THIS ONE'S FOR THE KIPPUR

TEZ SPEAKS:

I take great pride in spending my Yom Kippur reading Spinoza and Paine.

Spinoza because he's the sephardic rationalist that was thrown out of his synagouge and tried to describe an understanding of what we don't understand about nature without religion (he seems to use god as a synomyn for nature).

Paine because he is my favorite founding father and a leader of the rationist (freethinker) movement - something that Jefferson and Franklin were also a part of and this country has forgotten. I also read parts of Jefferson's rationist writings about the morals of Jesus - where he took out all the supernatural references of the gospels and left the story and philosophy.

Perhaps I'll finish my day with a little prayer toward the Flying Spaghetti Monster, dreaming of what His great noodly appendage could do to me if properly lubricated.

Heathenly yours,
teZ

October 13, 2005 in Religion | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

ON JESUSPHISH...

Jesus Chikka

[GrampaAcid and The Neck sit sharing some lemonade in the Hall's grotto, culling over the latest hit from the Christian Communication Network]

GRAMPA: Listen to this; "It's simple. You have to fight fire with fire. If the internet is letting bad influences affect Christians, then we've got to use the internet to promote good influences.”

Damn if this ain't just another classic case of using the tools of the devil to fight the devil. How soon before there is an online Christian Strippers site? ‘These Hos where blessed on high by Jesus hisself! Ladies and gentlemen, it's pure to spank off to them.’

NECK: Now that's what I call Jesus Juice.

March 29, 2005 in Religion | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBack